Crackers? How to....

A. Crackers are dry salty biscuits.
B. Crackers is a synonym for crazy.
C. Crackers are a quirky British Christmas bangy-thingamijig: They look like giant sweets, two people pull at either end to break it open, and inside they always have a paper crown, a gift, and a joke or proverb. We generally "bang" them with our Christmas dinner, there's one at each plate. You then have to wear the crown during the meal to ensure that you look ridiculous in all the Christmas photos. This is the aim of Crackers.

The photos above are a.) what your sitting room should look like whilst making crackers with children, and b.) what crackers should look like finished.
To make your own you'll need:

• Cracker "Snap", the bit that "bangs" (see this post for where to buy)
• toilet rolls
• paper for wrap
• crepe paper for crown
• a gift and a joke
• double sided sticky tape
• string

First make your crown. I use crepe paper because it's stretchy so can accommodate different sized heads. Just measure it against our own head and add a cm or two for overlap. Cut it against the grain so that it can stretch (if you're not sure what I mean try pulling the paper and see which side "gives"). You can cut 2 crowns at once (draw the zigzag line for kids to cut along). Crepe paper doesn't sellotape well, and I'm in a hurry, so I've stapled mine. Ugly bit of staple on the outside so it doesn't catch in hair. We also decorated them with random vegetables and salad leaves cut out from the Guardian free wall-charts. This is not traditional. It was "keep-the-kids-entertained" component.

Roll up your crown and put it in a toilet roll, along with a cracker Snap, then add the gift and joke. I've added a bonus gold coin. I'm an extremely generous person.

Place the filled toiled roll in the middle, with 2 more on either side on a piece of paper (size the same length as 3 toilet rolls and sufficient to wrap all the way round). The 2 other rolls are just to keep paper in shape when you wrap and tie the Cracker.

Put double sided sticky tape along one edge (see photo). I find it's better to roll the paper and remove the double sided tape sticker at the last moment. Roll shut and stuck.

Now to tie the ends: pull out the extra 2 toilet rolls enough to give you space to tie. Sometimes the paper can split (especially if you use newspaper) when pulling the string tight so scrunch the paper into shape before you tie it.

Make sure that at least one end is tied so that it "grips" firmly around the Snap. This ensures it will "bang" when you pull it apart.

Now you can decorate the outside as you wish. I love the Victorian cut-outs which you can get at Pollock's Toy Shop. Or my latest weakness, all things moo. I've just got some stickers. And the little cards I've made into "snap/memory" card sets also to be Cracker gifts.

Check: Blurred, double chinned, drunk and stupid looking Christmas photos.

I know this "how to" comes too late for anyone who hasn't bought cracker snaps. It has been sitting as a draft for nearly a week, but such is life and colds (round 3) and stuff.