I'm not sure if sewing makes me happy, or when I'm happy I sew, but there is a connection and it's definitely a pressure valve. Sewing is tangible. It's tactile. There's a metamorphosis. There are beginnings and ends. It can absorb you so that the rest of the world melts, for a while.
The past few years have held so many changes (moved country, changed career, cared for a sick relative, had a child, ended a 9 year relationship, umm, enough? there, I've spilled some of my beans) that coping has been often all I've managed. Sewing has been a re-found friend during this period.
As a child I was permanently drawing/constructing/beading/sewing and having a child makes one revisit one's childhood. And perhaps at challenging times we return to primal familiar places. Well whatever the reason, sewing has become important, and not even mustering the energy or inclination to do this recently means "things aren't good".
The above stitching of scraps is my first sewing in what feels like months. Not very big, but very big. If you see what I mean. Today I found this teenage watercolour doodle (on the right) that seemed to strike a cord. I'm piecing fragments together. I want to make something to wrap around me. And I know it must be made slowly but surely, scrap by scrap. Wake up, make some tea and start each day. Today was good.
I also uncovered the pillow below that I stitched when I was seven. I seemed to know who I was then. Or at least I've sewn my name BIG ENOUGH. I like that even though I've sewn this huge name I still need to add "By Alix" at the very bottom. Perhaps not so very sure after all. Just thought I'd add that I'm a Libran. Not that I believe in that or anything.
6 comments:
..you will see that all will piece together with time.
:)*
Mary
first of all, i love those fragmented scraps. i did something like that yesterday on the quilt which i will post soon. and i had the same sort of thought in my head about fragments. i was away from stitching and the things i love for years...for many of the same reasons. i woke up in a sweat one night and knew i had to Get Back. welcome back!
You are a great, crystal-clear writer and I thank you for sharing this! I like your teen-age watercolors!
You´ve been through quite a lot and it would not be more than natural if the ground feels shaky beneeth you. Would not be strange if it takes TIME for you to get back into Alix-mode again. Good thing that you see how good the sewing is to you. Hold on to that!
Is it hard to get started sometime?
I thank yeah three good ladies.
This space here is also helping keep me in check. I look forward to seeing your fragments*, and yes so hard to start sometimes.
"I'm not sure if sewing makes me happy, or when I'm happy I sew, but there is a connection and it's definitely a pressure valve. Sewing is tangible. It's tactile. There's a metamorphosis. There are beginnings and ends."
I HAVE to quote you - i totally subscribe those words...
All the best to you Alix, in your own metamorphosis :)*
I love that cushion with your name so big, and it's interesting to think about the happy/sewing continuum- sometimes I think I only sew when i'm stressed.
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