TV....

On Saturday I had a Sky representative at my door trying to sign me up for Satellite and when I said I didn't have a TV she straight away looked at Ruben, by my side, and said "how do you look after your son then?". I was speechless. For a few seconds. Then said "People seemed to have managed for millennia to bring up children before there was TV". She nervously giggled, looked down at her notes, realised that all her selling patter didn't account for this eventuality and almost ran away.
I know I am a minority. The TV licencing man told me that "98% of households have a television" when he visited last month to check my house. He told me I "had" to let him in to verify I was telling the truth. When I asked him under what law he had the right to enter my home, and did he have a warrant, he answered "we find that most people are lying", "well I'm part of the 2% that don't have a TV, you just said we do exist" I replied. I realised there was another man trying to look through my kitchen window and they were signalling to each other. "Well if you've go nothing to hide why can't I come in your house and check?" ..." Umm something called "principles" and a free state...innocent until proven guilty...Can I come round to your house and search through everything so I can confirm you're not a drug dealer?" I was getting a bit annoyed by then. He said "just doing my job love" then added "What's your favourite programme?" as if that was suddenly going to catch me out! He left with a wry didn't-catch-you-this-time-but-just-you-wait smile.
A few of weeks ago a friend and daughter came over and not long after they arrived the girl was looking around perplexed, she said "Mummy, where's the TV?". Her mother searched around too then answered "It must be in the bedroom". It didn't cross her mind that I might not have one. I didn't bother to correct her. Though when people do find out there's often a defensive justification"oh yes well, we don't watch it much either, it's err very principled of you etc. etc." as if I am judging them. Which I am not, or no more so than any circumstance where one chooses differently is an implicit judgement. But then they are equally judging me, as me them.

Why am I writing this? I suppose I'm just a bit tired of feeling so estranged by what seems like a non-consequential choice. I rarely bring the subject up, but recently I feel very challenged. Why is it such an affront that I am different?

I haven't had a TV for over 10 years, long before Ruben. I do like films, series, documentaries and the news. In fact too much. I found I wasted hours viewing crap and the easiest solution was to get rid of it. It also coincided with living in Portugal. British TV has many failings, but Portuguese TV is, how to put this delicately...more crap. I remember one Christmas trying to watch "Gone with the Wind". Already a pretty lengthy film, try adding regular 20 minute advert breaks, were talking well over 5 hours total. Then with 5 min to go before the end, another 20 min advert break! I really would have hurled my glass of wine at the set had it been my house. In Britain you barely have time to dash to the loo, put the kettle on and the programme has started again. Anyway I digress. I have compulsive tendencies (Internet being a current delight and a problem). I've removed all games on my computer - even solitaire. I've found my way of dealing with compulsions is to remove the temptation. In the meantime I'm slowing working through what are the root causes.
But basically by now I'm just used to not having a TV.

One issue is I don't want Ruben to be ostracised by his peers for not sharing conversations and communal memories that revolve around favorite TV programmes. I thought I would be confronted with this when he was a bit older but already the playground banter revolves around spider man, transformers and even big brother. I would like him to have a healthy and selective attitude to television. There are programmes that seem great (we particularly love Charlie and Lola). Recently I bought a DVD player for the computer, took out some kids classic series from the Library only to find the bugger won't work.

This weekend we went to the cinema for the first time, part of the London Children's Film Festival. 8 Short animations indicated for 2+ year olds. But the reaction wasn't great, it was mixed. I loved everything but I think for Ruben, despite the storylines being appropriate, the fast cut editing, the enveloping sound effects, the huge screen... it was a bit too much. I learnt my lesson that although he has the verbal age of a 5 year old, and pretty good rationalising, he has the emotional state and maturity of his 3 and a half years.

I would like to use the Internet more to find films to watch. I will explore YouTube but at present I find it overwhelming and just view recommendations from others (Glenn Gould via wish jar and Shadow Puppets via SouleMama to name a few). But this weekend in a bid to find positive viewing experiences I rediscovered the National Film Board of Canada's online Animation Library. Ruben and I shared a few magical minutes watching a Chairy Tale by Norman Mclaren with music by Ravi Shankar. It's just a man trying to sit on a chair... a nugget of life exploded into a fantastical duet, a tussle of characters, movement and communication. The man is a lyrical genius. Then we saw the Owl Who Married a Goose - An Eskimo Legend by Caroline Leaf (image below). So so beautiful and tender. It's in Innuit, but the words are music and you can understand all through the images.



Once Ruben was in bed I watched Very Nice, Very Nice, by Arthur Lipsett, his first film. A collage of photos, film and sound that give a portrait of...of what..a feeling of contemporary anxiety, that although made in 1961, its sentiment seems current.
I will delve more into their archive but I wanted to share what I'd found and assert that I do love film. I love good film. I learn and feel a lot through film. I just happen to not want that box in the corner and I wish I could be left alone to make that choice. If anyone reads this far, thank you for hearing my rant. If no one does, I don't care. Writing it felt good.